Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We don't watch enough power rangers
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
