How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
This toilet bowl is my home.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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