I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
