I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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