i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
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