Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
