Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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