ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
