The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
