Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
All I want is dick and wine.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
