we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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