Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
