how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
don't judge my taste in strippers
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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