ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
