Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
