You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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