NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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