Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
