I met the friendliest cop last night
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
