I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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