Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize
