talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
