I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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