2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
