OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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