if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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