mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
