haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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