YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
