he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
