dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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