I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I feel like death gave me a hand job
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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