she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
