I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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