Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
