Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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