My friends, they love my intelligence
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
