he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
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