at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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