you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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