i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
