That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
