please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
