Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Alive.
So much puke
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
