So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
