she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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