Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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