Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
