So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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