Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
