No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
