Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
