At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
im holly from the hills drunk
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
