How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
