do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
