If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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